All alone
Well, it had to happen at some point. Im now single. Scary huh?
How does it feel? Strange really. I guess i have never really been alone in this way before, since i was with the guy for 13 years. Im not about to go on a mad man hunt either. Alone is fine for now. Just feels strange to have only my mum and dad who love me now.
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A couple of days on the farm to help with blood sampling sheep hence the blog post. Sleeping on the sofa lets me watch crappy TV until i fall asleep, so i watched a dodgy survival programme about Bear Grylls, an ex-forces bloke who they boot out of a helicopter in really dodgy places. However, knowing how these things work after a couple of days farting around with the BBC i know fine well he is never in any danger, 90% of it is hyping up how he is about to drop dead from heat exhaustion, snake bites, weeing on his hat and being sucked under by quicksand.
In the desert in the USA, he enters a canyon to look for water, finding it is polluted he decides to wade through it…….only to find a log jam. Now any sensible person would climb over it….but our Bear…oh no, he has to swim *under* it.
Ducking into the water it takes him two attempts, the voice over informing us that “four minutes is the maximum anyone can hold their breath”. Ok, so i am actually a total mystery of nature as i can do four minutes 13 seconds…..(thats not a lie either, i know someone else who can do 5-6 minutes too). Now answer me this. Would they seriously let him duck under the pile of crap if they hadnt checked it out first? No. A dead presenter goes down like a sack of horse shit.
What really makes me smile is that 90% of the people watching him explain how to chimney climb out of a canyon, pick up a scorpion, get water in the desert, make a fire, get out of quicksand and swim over a river will go for a fortnights holiday to Benidorm once a year. Benidorm isnt really known for its quicksand or scorpions……
I cant wait for his next one, where he is dropped into the Bigg Market in Newcastle on a match night wearing a Sunderland shirt. Now *that* is a seriously hostile and dangerous place to be, average life expectancy goes down to about 30 seconds.
