The dive show
Apparently there are 17 million people in London. You can tell.
The last minute panic seemed to be taking forever, actually starting the night before, making sure we had everything packed into our two bags, the sudden thought in the queue about the weight limit seemed a tad late. Fortunatley both bags were under the 20kg limit, despite the thousands of leaflets, freebies and of course the clothes we needed for the weekend. I did, however, get my bag opened as they had no idea what the large opaque mass was in the bottom - 2000 leaflets was the answer!
The tiny plane left Kirkwall Airport and climbed through the clouds, over the Pentland Firth and south to Edinburgh where we changed to an even smaller plane to get us to the City of London Airport, right in the heart of things and hardly any distance at all from the Excel centre. On our approach i was so supprised to see green fields so close to the city centre.
Grabbing a taxi to the excel, we start to set up as best we can, getting the stand completed when Rob arrives with the rest of it, him being a star and going to B&Q and getting us a paste table and a dust sheet to complete things. After much faffing and changing things around we are finally happy about how things look and retire to the bar for a well earned beer.
The x-scooter…white cloth to soak up the dribble.
The first thing that struck me was that people were smoking in a bar. Disgusting, i wanted to leave within 10 seconds of getting through the door. In all honesty i had totally forgotten it even happened, what with it being illegal in Scotland now. The balance between being frozen sitting near the door, or choking on other peoples exhaled poisonous gasses was so fine, it was unreal. My clothes, hair and skin stank of smoke so much i had to shower as soon as we got back to the hotel. The sooner they ban it in England the better.
Rob looking…..well…..like Rob 
The second thing that struck me was how the water tastes. I know that they recycle water in London, filter it, clean it etc and send it back through the pipes as it makes some sort of environmnental sense, but fuck meeeee you cant half tell. But now i can see why bottled water is so popular down there. I guess you get used to water that might have fallen in the same field as a sheep, let alone having been through one.
Maybe i got a duff glass, a raindrop which had fallen via a big cloud of pollution, through a couple of farts and then onto a tramps armpit, then been down a drain, widdled in by a rat, recycled, used to make some of that shandy stuff drunk south of the border, widdled out again, recycled again and then finally piped to the Travelodge by the airport. Ho hum.
Our peedie stand.
The show goes like clockwork, all of us feeling exhausted by the end of the day having spent the whole time on our feet talking to people about scapa flow and the boat. However…..i did get to kiss Monty Halls but only as part of a dastardly plan to prove to the male half of YD that he isnt actually gay.
Mmmmmmmmmmonty Halls
Lots of interest in the scooter, Rob doing endless demonstrations to hoards of people on how they work - hopefully the x-scooters will prove a big sucess on the boat - i cant wait to have a go. I did ask the BSAC try-dive people if i could play in their pool, but the woman i spoke to had left her sense of humour in the same place as her smile and welcoming attitude and told me to sod off.
What it all breaks down to at the end of the day.
The tiny airport and weeny plane.
So now im off to bed, im soooo knackered its unreal. How does sitting on your fat ass in an aluminium tube for a few hours make you feel like you have just walked from sodding London? Ho hum.