Diary of a deckbitch…

My life on a webpage…

Wednesday and a minor rant

The world carries on turning through the seeminly endless void of space, regardless of what we seem to be doing to it.  It will be doing the same in 5000 years time, with or without us. 

In the news that this is the second warmest winter on record i find myself wondering how the hell we can sit here in our comfortable houses, driving our cars, taking our holidays completley oblivious to what we are doing to the planet.  Mainly its the attitude of “its someone elses problem”, which is great, until the local river floods your house, then its your problem.  But instead of blaming us driving the kids to school every day in case a bad man gets them, we blame the environment agency for not making sure the flood defences are ok.  Well guess what?  We are entering unknown territory now, and its all because of us.  A twenty year storm is planned for every twenty years, not every year.  Complaining about financial constraints on driving are all good and well, but what exactly will it take for us to sit up and take notice?  I hope we never have to find out.

********************************************************************************

Busy on the farm, little Joe is really not too happy about being away from his friends, although i wonder how much of the noise emmited by this small black wooly thing is actually due to the lack of milk machine, rather than company.  This is solved by putting him in with another group of lambs, the noise gets no better, so its the lack of milk machine which is troubling him.  Tough.  Get used to it!

Pondering this more, you could use a hungry lamb as a kind of biological weapon.  Drop them from an aircraft onto your enemy and they will either deafen them or pester them to death.  Death by sheep.

*******************************************************************************

We get everything done on the farm, and so head down to St Margarets Hope in Burray to check the slipway for loading the Stormdrift on Friday.  I take a wonder off with the camera, as Burray seems to be the place where boats come to die, slowly being broken up, a human erosion as parts are cannibalised for use on the Pentalina and the Claymore. 

Here are some pics i took, mostly B&W as they seem to define the mood of the place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the Sands of Wright, at the back of Widewall bay.  Widewall will be known to divers as the bay next to the James Barrie.  The Barrie sits to the right of the picture just beyond the headland. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****************************************************************************************

The weighing scales had reappeared in the bathroom as the suitcases needed to be checked before the girls left last week.  I eventually plucked up courage to step onto them, and nearly fell back off in surprise.  Not only am i now a full 15lb lighter than i was in the summer, im about 7lb lighter than i was about 3 weeks ago.  I know i am eating less, not by conscious effort, mainly because we are busy all the time, so maybe that is it. 

I have serious issues about food and eating, and always will.  Imagine feeling guilty every time you eat something, because you know, deep down it could be better/healthier or that you are simply doing something you shouldnt and that if people see you eat, they think you shouldnt be.  I know i dont judge people by their appearances, the same cannot be said for the rest of the universe, and that smarts. 

Once i am back in Stromness i will be back on the only diet i have ever found easy - no fat with carbs, no carbs with fat and no refined sugar.  At least it is the only diet i have ever found that makes sense.  We are simply not designed to eat what we do, or drink what we do.  A glass of orange juice contains so much more juice than a single orange, our pancreas goes mental and produces insulin, which converts all that sugar…..to fat.  So cutting out fat, and not sugar, is pants.

********************************************************************************

 

February 28th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | one comment

Wehey, company again!

Seeing the headlinghts reflect on the windowpane, i knew my time of what seemed like exile had ended.  Soon Hazel and Carolyn were back, bags taking up the space in the living room, washing machine once again not knowing what the hell had happened.  Sheep were checked, and slowly things got back to some sort of normality….whatever the hell that is.

On monday we head through to the boat to check it all over, do a few little jobs here and there, say hi to Bob (who has now buggered off to Oban for 6 weeks, and also has a new blog - here http://mollywollydoodles.thedeepstop.com/ ) and then to do some shopping…..only to find that Hazel has forgotten her purse and we only have the shrapnel from the bottom of my pocket….so bread and milk are bought and thats it.  Bum.

It was strange seeing the grand total of 3 people in a week, but now its all back to normal and thats strange too.  Like the world never seems to change, it never really notices you have gone.  But then parts of Orkney havent changed for the past 100 years, so why the hell should it change now? :)

Preparations are going on for the Dive Show (LIDS) in London where we have a stand - number 370 near the bar yeeeeehar - we fly down on the friday and then back up on the monday (i think).

Here are a couple of pics to add to the ever growing number on here.  Orkney seems to do a cracking sunset at the moment :)

 

February 27th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | no comments

Alone for a week.

The washing machine didnt actually quite know what hit it.  Crammed full of bits and bobs and asked to wash non-stop for around 24 hours, im sure i can hear it panting in the kitchen.  Hazel and Carolyn leave the farm at 2.30pm, the volvo making its way along the pothole strewn track (i think of the holes as speedbumps in mirror image).  Flying first from Kirkwall in something resembling a cigar tube with rubber band powered propellers to Edinburgh, then hopefully in an aircraft slightly more substantial to Luton, where tomorrow they will finally fly to Salzburg and then 2 hours by coach to Mayrhofen to ski for a weeks well earned break.

I went skiing 10 years ago almost to the day.  A school trip to Vermont in New England, USA leaving from Manchester on Valentines day to arrive in New York and then Boston, then bus for a few hours along the winding roads, Queechee (spelling??) gorge where Michael J Fox lives and on to Killington.  Hills green with trees, picture book towns and villages and me learning to ski all seem so far away now.  10 years is suddenly a very long time, such a lot has happend in that time and i would never ever have put myself where i am now back then. 

**********************************************************************************************

First job this evening was to feed the sheep - easy enough, just follow the board with it all written on, the silence is deafening once everyone has a full stomach.  Next i need to bolus two of the lambs - now these are no longer the small cute wooly things of a few weeks ago, but full on mini-sheep with the room temperature IQ to match their mums.  I swear sheep get stupider as they get older.  A bolus is like a big tablet and im not shitting you here.  This thing is about an inch and a half long and i have to convince a lamb to swallow it.  Chasing the little bugger around the pen (along with a load of others plus mums) is not much fun, but i manage to grab it in the end and curse it into the lower regions of hell reserved for naughty sheep, door to door salesmen and divers who wee all over the floor in my toilet. 

Imagine wrestling with a set of wriggling bagpipes set to one note (baaaaaa!!!), legs, heads and the wrong end all seem to get everywhere, but in the end i manage to get said lamb to swallow the small breezeblock of a pill.  Then i get to do it all again with another one who has the same complaint.  Stepping over the gate and back into the central corridor i spot another lamb looking off colour.  Bugger.  I will keep an eye on that one and check in the morning, but i get the feeling it will be Helen vs sheep II tomorrow.

 You want me to swallow what??!!

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment of Helen the farmer.

***********************************************************************************************

 

Saturday 

“Wonk”, said the goose, frequently as it turnes out.  Its his breeding season, and thanks to a mix-up, Bruce and Google turned out to both be blokes, so no small feathery things from them.  To say they hate eachother is wrong, Bruce hates Google with a passion, Google is very good at running away.  Both of them have their wings clipped (or more accuratley one wing clipped - “so they fly in circles”, which says a lot about Hazels sense of humour), so they dont actually get airborne unless its blowing a hoolie.  Both of them ended up in the utility room when i went out as they Bruce had google pinned in the corner outside.  So now we have goose poo on the carpet in there. 

Seeing a post on YD made me think along a rather sad train of thought.  Someone i know is selling all their kit as they will never dive again due to health reasons.  If he escapes with his life he will be a walking medical miracle. 

On telling someone up here that i had been chatting to him, the reaction of “fook me, i thought he was dead” was actually pretty much mine when he suddenly appeared on msn again.  It made me think about YD, the people that are on there and how much we really know about their lives.  Im sure we lose members all the time, to accidents, disease or old age.  But we never seem to know about it as so few couples frequent the forums, why would a next of kin know to come on to the forum and post an obituary? 

***************************************************

I go out and start to feed the sheep, filling buckets from the 1 tonne bag of food at the end of the shed, then pouring the required amount into the troughs and sliding them through into the pens.  Half a dozen black heads descend into the galvanised metal holder, frantically shovelling the food down as fast as it will possibly go.  Think 5 year olds at a birthday party eating smarties here.

I walk out to feed the outside animals, a bucket of grain for the ducks and geese, and a couple of other buckets for various fields of animals.  Then back inside to feed the deer, check the milk machines and inside for a cup of tea.

 

I spend the day tidying up - im not saying where either because i know Austria has internet cafe’s and i want it to be a surprise for when Hazel and Carolyn come back…..plus i catch up on all my washing - i was nearly in an out of clothes situation there!

********************************************************************************************

Thinking about going on holiday, i had planned a break away to maybe the red sea or somewhere warm, maybe Tenerife or similar.  But watching the sheer stress of H & C before they went made me think again.  To be honest the whole stress factor would cancel out any enjoyment of the holiday.  You spend a week before stressing over the things you need to do before you go, then a day before it all goes into overdrive.  You worry like a worrying thing on national worry day.  Passport, money, tickets, kit, clothes, is everything going to be Ok while im away?  Just stop, right there.  Thats enough.  Stress limit reached, i would sit there and not go, tickets in hand and spend the week watching TV or playing on the net.  You get to the airport, your flight is delayed, you miss a connection, they lose your baggage, when you get it its been used as a chock for a 747 and is now 6 inches narrower than when you packed it.  Your transfer to the hotel is a bus which by rights should actually spontaneously combust due to the number of faults and is held together with spit, snot, rust and chewing gum.  Hotel is full of chavs, old people smelling of wee or right next door to a building site.

Maybe i have been scarred by too many “Holiday Nightmare” programmes (none of which i can remember watching oddly enough), but i thikn i will stay put until the pull of blue water diving over-rides my desire to be stress free and maintain a BP of 110/55

***********************************************************************************************

Its strange, sometimes you can never talk to someone for months and they suddenly you need to utilise their skills and so you drop them an email.  Suddenly you are back into their lives, you catch up on what they have been up to, when mere months ago a day without speaking to them was rare.

That happened today.  Someone i hadnt spoken to in such a long time, i needed her advice, and so an email was sent, and replied to.  Strange, but we seemed to be back where we began, like the whole friendship was re-affirmed.  I got sent this in an email years ago, usually this kind of stuff gets binned but somehow it makes supreme sense. 

 People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, this is to help you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you  for being part of my life.

**********************************************************************************************

Sunday

Sunlight streams in under the door of the bedroom in the Lodge and i stagger to the loo, get dressed and then out to check the sheep.  Walking past the utility room i find the door open……and three dogs.  Now im impressed they managed to get the door open, and even more impressed we still had all three of them. 

Pete is the brains of the operation, always sticking his nose into everything but is also the worlds biggest wuss.  Harry is top dog, despite being the smallest.  He is set to scavenge mode permanently.  If you cant find him, go find the grossest most minging thing possible and he will be there eating it.  Yell at him and you get the “awww but im soooo cute” look, but he is fooling no-one.  Buttons is the muscle of the bunch, i have never met such a stupid dog in my life.  Total lights are on but no one is home, one braincell and it is set to “bounce”.  You gotta love them :D

The volume in the shed is phenomenal.  Imagine every single animal all screaming at you FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.  Hazel can yell at them and they shut up, but with me they just snigger and baaa some more.  Filling the troughs shuts them up and i get on with loading the hay racks and putting new straw in the pens. 

I go out to feed the ducks and sheep and find the geese are now in a totally different place…..minus one who is doing the “urm, its quiet in here……” thing as it waddles around the track.

*********************************************************************************************

The rest of the day is spent mooching around, watching TV, not doing anything really very constructive, but hey ho.

Then mother nature puts on a spectacular display for us…..this is why i love Orkney.

 

************************************************************************************************

Out to feed the sheeps for the final time, lots of hay packed into their racks and the milk machines cleaned out and re-filled.  I get back inside to find that i have a pocket full of food…..oh dear. 

***********************************************************************************************

Monday

The day dawns gray and overcast and as i feed the animals i can feel the dampness in the air.  Stomping around in my boiler suit with the bottom of the legs hacked off i carry buckets to the ewes in the far fields and then collapse infront of the TV with a cup of tea. 

I decide to update the article on DIRX about pee valves, but thats all im saying on here because i know my mum and dad read this.  So if you want to know, go search that forum and you will be enlightened.  Mum, dad, dont even think about it!

The deer have a mad half hour, doing that silly bouncy run they do, all four feet off the floor at once. 

**********************************************************************************************

Sometimes it seems like the dive season is so far away, but then i can glance at the wall planner next to me here and see that in a few short weeks we will be out there, doing it for real.  I am living the dream of so many people, to jack it all in, run away where no-one will ever find me and work on a boat with divers. 

To say sod it all to posessions, materialistic “i wants” left behind.  You suddenly learn the true value of things when you dont have them for a few months.  Good shoes, a good jacket and a warm bed seem to be a priority as without them life can get pretty miserable.  Oh, and comfy knickers.

**********************************************************************************************

I forgot to blog - i did my food hygiene course last monday and passed the exam with full marks :) see, i knew there was a brain in there somewhere…..even if it is now full of “what temperature should a dairy and dessert fridge be at?”.

***********************************************************************************************

And finally, i would like to point you at this website - www.underwaterlife.co.uk It is a blog by another diver who has taken some spectacular photographs lately - none diving related so dont get all huffy when there aint any dolphins or stuff like that.  But if you appreciate good photography, then this is a good place to start.

***********************************************************************************************

Tuesday.

I wake to the sound of the wind tugging at the wooden walls of the lodge, dragging me from the warm recesses of sleep and refusing to let me get back there.  I try to read for a while, but to no avail.  I admit defeat and make my way over to the house and bed down on the sofa under the nice fleecy blankets, but still sleep evades me.  I end up watching the wrecked defectives on sky for an hour before i doze off again, only to wake up to the distant sound of the dogs whinging and barking.  Its one of those annoying things that you can only hear them if you really listen….but once you have, you cant help but hear them.  Not wanting any piles or puddles to deal with  I get up and let them out, then try to sleep again, but quickly realise it just aint going to happen. 

I get the bin bags ready to go out for the bin wagon which only comes to the end of the road to the farm…..i go and fetch the sack barrow to carry them easily and sight a large vehicle with an orange flashing light just dissappear behind the houses heading away from me.  Bugger.  Missed it. 

I go on to feed everyone and then head back in.  Later I take hay down to the ewes in the bottom field at lunchtime.  Making my way back through the long byre i spot one of the lambs looking like a small football on legs.  Fook.  He has bloat - something nasty when milk ceases to be digested in his stomach and produces lots of gas.  This can actually squish his heart and lungs and kill him, so im worried.  I get inside and email Carolyn, but no reply.  I go back out and he is even larger. 

Arse. 

I phone, but no answer.  I call the vets, but no vets are in at the moment……ARGH!!  I text Hazel and Carolyn to tell them to check the emails on the phone ASAP…..and finally get a reply.  Gawd i was really starting to panic.  Soon i call them in Austria and we decide to get the vet to make a visit to the farm to deal with the lamb.  I dont have the liquid parafin needed to sort his tummy out, so soon enough the vet arrives and comes to see the patient.  A stomach tube is passed down into the depths of his gurgling belly, and a large amount of liquid parafin is then syringed in.  We put him in a seperate pen as he shouldnt eat anything for 24 hours now.  Not a happy little lamb now!

I also find out tomorrow is actually bin day….so we have a phantom bin wagon…although it could have been a tractor, i just saw orange light on a big vehicle and assumed it was the bins…. oh well :)

I relax a little and decide to take advantage of the good light today….so here are some piccies.

 

Blllllllaaaarrrggghhhhhh said the stag….

 

 ****************************************************************************************

Just thought i would share the pics of the sunset with you too.

**********************************************************************************************

Wednesday.

Im tired, but i know i have to get hay to all the sheep.  I start to use the sack trolley to wheel the bales around whcih is far easier than lugging them by the strings.  Soon enough i am done with feeding and carry on with the other jobs. 

Feeling alone today.

**********************************************************************************************

Thursday

The alarm on my phone cuts as subtley as a chainsaw through the protective barrier of sleep.  I struggle out of bed and open the blind, find some clean clothes and out into the world, which has deteriorated since i last saw it.  Wind howls from the east, horizontal rain smears the windows and the dead stalks of last years grasses lie arrow straight, quivering in the gale.

I go to feed the sheep, they are vocal to say the least.  Joe, the lamb who tried to become an ovine blimp, is still very noisy, but less than he was, having baaaaa’d himself totally hoarse now he is in solitary confinement.  Give him a metal cup to rake along the bars of his pen….maybe i will go stencil some little arrows on him to complete the look of prison.  He is back onto restricted milk feeds today, 4x a day i will go and give him 300ml of what put him in there in the first place.

Rodney arrives to help shift a dead sheep - something that always happens over the winter.  I tie up the sheeps legs with rope and we hoist her using the tractor, uneremoniously depositing her into the pit used to dispose of dead animals.  After he has left i continue on with putting hay out for everyone, the animals outside being very grateful for it.  Eventually i can retreat back to the warmth of the house, and a cup of tea to thaw me out.

************************************************************************************************

This week, i have mostly been listening to…..Dido.  A real blast from the past for me, her first album kept me reasonably sane while i was at uni studying for my finals.  Sharing a house with three guys, all of whom were very into R n B, rap and drum n bass, i needed something to stop me thinking about people getting “caps popped in their asses” lyrics and videos straight from cheap porn films.  Dido filled that space, her meaningful lyrics and unique voice evoke memories of being locked away from the world, cramming my head with as much knowledge as possible and listening to the busses surge past the window outside.  I dont have her first album here - i have no idea where it is, other than south somewhere.  The current one is Hazel’s copy.  I also like her version of “see you when you’re 40″ live which is stunning, but since i dont have itunes, i cannot buy it so have to listen to it online. 

Strange really, sounds and smells awaken parts of your memory once forgotten.  At the moment it is my time at universtity which is paramount in the old grey matter.  The people i met, the influence they had on my life and how i never seem to hear from any of them anymore, us all having spread out over the globe, some having started families, others having got jobs in the environment sector, some of us not.  Strange really, reminds me of a dandylion.  The flower grows as we did, blooms, becomes bright in the sun.  It does the best it can, and then seeds, spreading those tiny parachutes all over the meadows of the world. 

I can recall being on a transfer flight, ironically more or less 10 years ago to the day, somewhere over northern USA, heading back to New York from Boston.  Below us the concrete snakes of the roads wind between the tree covered mountains, pinprick cars move totally unaware i am above them watching.  I watch two cars pass each other on the road and ponder who they are, where they are going and why.  I doubt they would ever remember making the journey, let alone passing a car going the other way.  But i do.

************************************************************************************************

[David Attenborough mode on]

Entering the quiet stillness of the lair, we hope to approach the hibernation site undetected.  The cylinders prefer darkness and quiet for this yearly process and have found a suitable nest here in the GP shed, in Northfield, Holm, Orkney.  Keeping myself concealed, cunningly disguised as a farmer to prevent attack if i am detected, i can get remarkably close. 

The cylinders enter the shed in early November, having migrated from their summer residence in Stromness aboard the Stormdrift and now the Valkyrie.  During their active season they make up to three journeys a day to the bottom of Scapa Flow and the surrounding waters, allowing divers to utilise their ability to hold gas.  Towards the end of the season they become tired and in need of their annual refurbishment which occurs immediatley after hibernation ceases, but soldier onwards until it is time for them to leave the calm waters of the harbour. 

Mating is yet to be recorded, but we hope to see several young cylinders appear in March, firstly 3l ones, known as ponies.  These can then, if fed and cared for properly, in time become 7l’s and eventually the lucky one or two will become an Ali 80.

[/David Attenborough mode off]

 

***********************************************************************************************

You would have thought nature would have made geese waterproof?  Nope.  Here is one very soggy goose teehee.

*************************************************************************************************

Friday

I wake on the sofa in the house, having bottled out of walking over to the lodge in the rain last night.  It wasnt so much rain, as solid water with air slots cut in it. 

Busy day ahead of me, i start on my jobs i wanted to get done - mostly tidying up the messy bits of the farm.  This is going to take me a bit of time…uh oh.

*********************************************************************************************** 

I smell.  I dont mean just whiff a bit, i mean i reek of sheep, deer and anything else yucky.  There is hay in my hair, mud under my nails and christ knows what down my bra (but it itches like hell, probably straw).  I have blisters on my fingers from carrying buckets (and i worked so damned hard on my callouses last year god dammit), and managed to stab myself in the finger with my knife while cutting bailer twine on a bale of hay.  I think a bath may be in order…..someone phone the water company and warn them about what is on its way!

***********************************************************************************************

Have been mucking around with the camera today.  So here you go.

 

And you may well wonder, what the effing hell is that…..well, its a glass bead that i wear around my neck.  Just like me, its rather strange and looks like different things from different angles.

*******************************************************************************************

Saturday

You know you get those moments when you do something, and suddenly the next few seconds pan out in front of you like a long straight road.  They contain nothing but pain and panic and wondering when its all going to stop.  Well i had one of those today. 

Standing on the wobbly bale of straw, i reach up to the one several layers above me, fingers seeking out the narrow blue bailer twine holding it together.  Eventually i find it and pull.  Movement above me catches my eye, the next three layers are coming towards me with that inevitable movement you get when something heavy is finally giving up to gravity and there is bugger all you can do to stop it.  I move as quick as i can but one of them knocks me off the bale and to the floor, i feel the impacts of the bales hitting the one on top of me and then it stops.  I open my eyes to be nose to nose with a cat, who is marvelling in the new playground i have accidentally made for him.  My fall was cushioned by the huge pile of loose hay i had swept up a week before, meaning it was like landing in a big itchy matress.  Hay bales are not actually that heavy, so all it did was wind me.  Im glad i swept the floor the other day! 

*************************************************************************************************

Sunday

Right, i need everything to be ok for when the girls get back, so i get up early.  I have words with the sheep, along the lines of “none of you wooly buggers die, ok!”.  i hope they listened to me, i really do.

A bad omen is that i find one of the Shropshire lambs cast in its feed trough - head bent up behind it so it was totally stuck.  If i hadnt spotted it, or it had happened last night, it could well have died.  Oh dear, i hope the rest of the day picks up.

*******************************************************

This is what Andy brought me back from Australia.  Somehow i think he knows my sense of humour far too well :D

February 16th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | no comments

Bald sheep

Ok, its February and we have just had about 12 sheep sheared.  Why?  Well they are the show group and their fleeces need to be in top condition for the events, so they get sheared early to give them the maximum time to re-grow it nicely.  I somehow got the feeling they were less than impressed with the whole situation, along the lines of “i spent all year growing this damn wool for when its fecking freezing and now you bastards come and shave it off!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 16th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | no comments

This is not a secret

Its strange, how some peoples reaction to this blog has changed what i feel i can write.  From a couple of people now, they react like they have somehow snuck in and read my secret diary, they know things i dont want them to know. 

Wrong. 

I know how many people read this blog.  I know what they search for to get here.  I certainly dont write things i wouldnt be happy anyone knowing.  I write this blog to vent my anger at some things, to let people know how i am getting along and to help sort out how i feel about life in general.  Im glad some of you enjoy what you see, it pleases me greatly to get comments either on here or via pm on yorkshire divers or email.  Somehow it keeps me firmly attached to reality, not as isolated as sometimes i can feel up here. 

Anyhow.  Hazel and Carolyn are off Skiing for a week on friday, so i am all aloooooooooone for a whole week.  I think i might do a bit of a picture diary of my day, just so you know what i get up to on the farm.

:D

February 15th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | no comments

The Blessing

Standing in the flurry of snow up on the shelter-deck roof, the words of George Mackay Brown are whipped away in the wind as soon as they leave the ministers lips.  Myself, Carolyn and Hazel stand alone the significance of the moment isnt lost on any of us.  6 months ago, this day was a pipe dream subject of idle surface interval chats, many sketches of dive decks and cunning plans hatched and nurtured.  So in the snow and wind of Stromness Harbour, the newest dive boat of the fleet is made known to any gods who may be watching. 

I’m not religious, neither are Carolyn or Hazel, but the boat might be, so we thought it best to make sure.  Many people dont know, but almost every fishing boat carries a bible on board.  I would rather not consider when it is referred to by fishermen, as many people seem to either lose their religion or find it in times of extreme trouble.  Ours is kept in the wheelhouse, and it never crossed our minds to get rid of it.  I just dont think it would feel right to.

George was a poet based in Stromness, his works world famous and it seemed appropriate to read something of his on the Valkyrie. 

Finally a blessing from Celtic tradition was said into the bitingly cold air, completing the ceremony.  A bottle of Champagne is carried onto the whaleback by Hazel and the cork sent flying, some of the contents poured over the bows, drunk from and then the bottle passed to Carolyn and myself, pouring a generous splash over the name above the wheelhouse we then retreat inside to the welcome warmth.  There was something unusual about this, an all female owned and crewed boat being blessed by a female minister.  Make what you want of it, but it felt right.

A long night is had, much food, drink and merriment.  The babies head is thoroughly wet, roll on the dive season :)

 

February 11th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | no comments

Nice new berth…

The rest of the country seems to have ground to a halt with the falling of some snow, upto 6 inches in some places.  We have a couple of inches, with much more forecast over the next few days, but it seems to be very matter of fact - Oh yeah, its going to snow….so what.  A couple of years ago Hazel had to dig the road out of the farm with the tractor!  I guess its all relative, bad weather elsewhere is ok weather up here.  Face it, anything less than a force 10 is only a bit breezy by some Orcadian standards!

We head down to Stromness to shift the boat from where it lay on the ice-plant pier, an exposed area in the harbour to where Bob had been tied up.  He has headed off south to get the Halton re-painted on the slip and so will be away for a few weeks.  A double spring is used to get us off the pier as the wind seems to be intent on holding us fast, but as i let go of the rope it catches on the fixings for one of the fenders on the pier.  Panic as no amount of tugging or shaking the rope will allow it to run free and let me pull it in!  Bollocks!  One of the guys from the fishermans society saves the day and feeds the line through for us.  We manoever into the middle of the harbour and then slowly forward in against the inner pier, Hazel nudging into reverse and then forward, inching all 160 tonnes slowly towards the concrete.  Any crunch right now would spell disaster for us.  We touch the pier so gently that i hardly feel it, and i climb the ladder with the spring (the first rope we pass to the pier) over my shoulder.  Once this is around the stout black bollard we are pretty much safe, as the boat can manoever anywhere we want from here.  Soon all our other ropes are up and secure, my heartrate slows to a gentle purr and the adrenaline wears off.  In the stormdrift this would have been such a routine operation we wouldnt have batted an eyelid.  In the new boat everything is new, its like learning to drive a mini and then suddenly driving a huge 4×4.  Of course Hazel takes to it like a duck to water, despite the odd complaint that the Valkyrie handles like a hippo with both back legs broken, i struggle a little more.  Ropes cant be tied where im used to, everything takes longer as i have to leg it up onto the whaleback or right round to the stern.  Im struggling a little, the mountain i need to climb looks bloody huge.  Not only do i need to be able to do all the new things safely and quickly, but i need to be able to do it without guidance from Hazel, something i cant do at the moment.

But we are getting there, making sure we dont run before we can walk and ensuring we are smooth at docking and picking up divers will take a little practice. 

We head around to see Andy and Ronnie on the Jean Elaine and to retrieve our dive kit which has been festering on board since last season.  Asking Ronnie to grab my computer from the wheelhouse we both notice that the walls in there have been painted a really fetching shade of purple.  I guess thats what happens when you go away for 6 weeks eh Andy? ;) hehehe

On our way back to Holm we stop by at the Ring of Brodgar and i take a few snaps as it looks stunning in the snow.

 

 

 

 

 

February 8th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | one comment

Busy…

Suddenly we seem to have our days taken up by doing 101 jobs on the new boat, installing new electric bilge pumps for one thing.  Much faff is had adding the new joint into one of the existing pipes and out through the hull, enabling us to rely on the automatic pumps rather than switching on the incredibly quick existing pumps which run from the seperate Lister engine.  The new engine room is huge,it is indeed a room.  Pipes and wires, 99% of which are a total mystery to me (but fortunatley not to Hazel) wind their way around the ceiling, walls and floors and dark recesses hide hydraulics, more wires and switches.  The best thing about this is that we can both stand up easily in here, no more crouching around on the crawl boards.

I clean out all the cabins, wiping everything down with flash to ensure it smells clean and is dust and dirt free.  The shower is sprayed from top to bottom and wiped out, removing the old soap rack too, as it was beginning to rust.  All the sinks in the cabins are brought up shining, the only job below is to hoover the carpets and it will be pretty presentable down there.

The changing room, whcih has a freshwater sink inside.

Changing room

 

Really useful little cubby holes in the changing room - ideal for your hood/gloves etc between dives.

Cubbys

I start on the Saloon, wiping all the benches down, polishing the woodwork and removing all the curtains whcih actually makes a huge difference to how light it is in there.  Considering its on board a boat, the saloon is a huge room.

The weather turns even more snowy (snow lying since last night), and i can hear the hail hammering on the deck above my head, it rolling into small drifts on the gray antislip, just waiting to make me fall on my arse.

 

 

 

We go up to see Andy to say hello and i take a couple of pics of the cat (these are here just for you Bob hehe)

February 6th, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | no comments

New Boat

“Do you think we should get a bigger boat?”
 

And with those few words a ball started rolling, slowly at first, wobbled a few times and then rapidly grew into a whole new era for myself and Hazel.  Back in the summer we realised that working together had made us an excellent team, but unfortunately held back by the possibilities Stormdrift allowed. 
 

Now many girls say shopping is better than sex, and so when we went shopping, we did it in style. 
 

A boat based in Stromness was for sale - a recent conversion to diving liveaboard and with a good pedigree.  Deciding that this platform would offer us exactly what we wanted, the long process of gathering funds began.  I was fortunate enough to be able to become a stakeholder in the business, so I have a real interest in making sure the boat is as good as I can possibly make it.  Suddenly I had something I never thought I would – a career and a future in an industry which has taken over my life.

 

The boat was taken to Fraserburgh, surveyed (passed with flying colours) and repainted in our company colours.  We also felt that the old name, Bounteous Sea simply said “old trawler” and so a new name had to be decided. 
Being the first all female owned and crewed liveaboard dive boat in the UK and Orkney having very strong Viking connections, we decided on the name “Valkyrie”.  Of course many people consider changing a boats name to be unlucky, so a re-naming ceremony will be done by the local minister to hopefully keep the bad luck firmly on the quayside.   

On the ship lift 

So why that boat? 

Well she is a recent conversion, a real blank canvas with which to work, allowing us to put what we know to be a good system in place, instead of making do with what is already there.  She has a large compressor, can carry oxygen and helium with ease and has plenty of deck space.  A diver lift is being installed as is a Haskel. 

She  has a heated saloon with TV, DVD player, laptop station (for download of pictures and viewing on the widescreen TV) video games console and large selection of books.  She also has a separate well laid out galley, enabling me to offer fully catered trips with ease, and also allowing for people who follow special diets to enjoy the food. 

Below decks she has 6 clean, individually heated double cabins, all with 7ft bunks, hot and cold running water and all bed linen provided.  There is also a power shower sited below decks – so no more running over cold wet deck clutching a towel in the driving rain! 

A tumble drier will be installed for the drying of damp undersuits and since we run a generator while at sea, we have 240v power 24 hours a day – perfect if you forget to charge your torch overnight!  Two toilets are on board, both above decks, where there is also an additional shower cubicle. 

Pretty snazzy huh?

The Saga of the homeward journey.

Getting back from Fraserburgh (just north of Aberdeen) to Orkney ended up being something of an adventure for me.  Our first attempt was over a week ago, setting off from Orkney in the tiny aeroplane from Kirkwall to Aberdeen we rise above the patchwork of the Orcadian islands, the early morning sun glinting off the many tiny lochs in the peat.  Passing over the flow i get an excellent view of the Churchill Barrers and long to be in there, the visibility looks excellent.  Over the firth the white tipped waves are an omen of what is to come, but then we pass into the cloud and the clean bright white light of the day.

Landing at Aberdeen 35 minutes later we grab a taxi and head straight for Fraserburgh, hoping to catch the evening tide.  Catching my first glimpse of her in her new livery, only the shadows of her former identity show through, my heart leaps.  She looks damned good.  Clambering on board being wary of the odd bit of still wet paint is a strange experience.  Knowing the boat is actually ours, and this will be where i live and work for the forseeable future is a very strange feeling indeed. 

Shadows

Leaving the harbour we can see the waves breaking over the stone breakwaters, never a good sign but the forecast is improving.  The bow lifts and plunges in the darkness, white spray catches in the floodlights illuminating our aft decks and water washes over the shelterdeck, pouring back into the sea in torrents.  We are thrown around like we are in a huge washing machine, but plough on in the knowledge that the weather window will be slamming shut in the next 24 hours. 

The alarm cuts through the noise of the waves, the forward bilge has taken in water and Hazel goes below to check to see if there is a problem.  Returning 5 minutes later from below with the news we have water in our bilges, we make the decision to return to Fraserburgh, even though the sea is actually starting to flatten out now we were beyond the groundswell.  A little of our caulking (stuff which goes between the planks) had come loose, always a danger when its new, and we would need to get it replaced - something impossible to do easily in Orkney.  It made sense to get back to Fraserburgh as it was close and had space on the ship lift.  Its a pain in the arse, not only that we didnt get back, but that the boat has to get taken out of the water again, but better now than in the middle of the Pentland Firth. 
 So we return to Orkney on the ferry, feeling defeated, deflated but resilient that this will be happening soon, we just have to be patient.

Black and white bows

 

 

 

Waiting……

Watching the weathers every move, watching arrows shift, grow, shrink and dissappear, another window opens before us.  Andy Cuthbertson joins us for the journey and we meet in the bitingly cold wind on the quay beside the Hjaltland, the ferry to Aberdeen.  The overnight journey is surprisingly smooth (which is good as we dont have a cabin and try to sleep in the cafe on bench seating!), which is a good omen for the next day, we plan to journey down on saturday as this has the best weather window.  Arriving in Aberdeen we catch the bus to Fraserburgh and head down to the boat.  I grab some kip while we organise for her to be lowered back into the water and soon enough we make the decision to leave today, weather information is looking good for the passage, and so just after 1pm we leave Fraserburgh basking in the winter sunshine.

Making our way north the boat behaves perfectly, taking the slight swell well within her stride.  The Moray Firth is the roughest part of the journey, taking over 6 hours to cross this huge open space.  Passing by the Beatrice Oil Platform, her orange lights glaring from miles away. 

Entering the Pentland Firth i can feel the knot of tension in my stomach.  We are not perfect for the tides, but it shouldnt be too bad.  Regardless, this is an incredibly busy stretch of water with treacherous currents and we are slowed from 10 knots to 4 knots during the main part of the crossing as the tide surges past us. 

Entering the flow from Hoxa sound we are on home turf and everyone seems to suddenly feel the fact we have had next to no sleep for 24 hours.  I take the wheel, which is surprisingly easy - the autopilot is doing all the work :) i can see me getting to like this boat an awful lot.

Coming alongside in Stromness we tie up in the rain, leaving our new toy to cause the inevitable fuss it will when people see her tomorrow.

Valkyrie

February 2nd, 2007 Posted by helen | Uncategorized | one comment